Willing to be a bad friend – perfectionism in friendship

Like marriage, friendship cannot survive long term if one doesn’t at least give the semblance to care.

When one’s feelings are hurt, someone needs to do the work to overcome it. When it is always the same person, how could a human being stop themselves from resenting them?

Life is too short to force connections when we don’t have to. The beauty of any relationship is that it is a dance between feeling seen and seeing another. Vulnerability and communication are everything here.

We cannot truly ever know ourselves, but we come close to it when looking into the eyes of a loved one.

I found that I would avoid outings when I was upset, scared I might snap at my friends. Disguised as concern for my loved ones, I was actually uncomfortable with the actual emotions. And even more terrified of eliciting the same ones in my friends and losing them.

I was doing myself a disservice and my friends as well by forcing them to interact with my insecure, defensive side, when they could have gotten my delightfully genuine grumpy side instead!

What do you think, is that a better choice?

Leave a Reply